BLACKOUT.

I open my eyes to the ting tong ting,

The unpleasant alarm going off again,

Sleep leaves me a bit too worn out,

Have to get to work, though it’s such a pain..

Mundane defines my everyday routine,

I struggle with making sense of things,

What should I look forward to anyway?

Nobody knows what the next day brings..

Wherever I go, there are people all around,

But I wonder why I always feel so alone,

I shall always be there for you they have said,

But is anything said ever cast in stone?

As I tread through the monotonous day,

I am grappled by despair and hopelessness,

I fear I am coming on too strong sometimes,

But trust me, I cannot help being in distress..

Will things ever fall in place as they should?

Will I ever comprehend what is happening to me?

I am desperate to make sense of things around,

But please just leave me the way I want to be..

The cacophony of the noises I live amidst,

And the eerie silence that constantly screams,

They hold me like a bird suffocated in a cage,

I am fighting my inner demons it seems..

It’s all about confusions and perplexities now,

Through a dungeon I am struggling my way out,

Like coffees gotten cold and projects incomplete,

Unfinished sentences represent my perpetual doubts..

I wish to scream my heart out to this universe,

But my energy serves me a ruthlessly cold betrayal,

I am looking for answers to my internal conflicts,

But I find myself in a state of thorough denial..

Could I please request for a present this birthday?

A box full of reasons to be happy from within,

‘Coz emotionally drained wouldn’t quite explain,

The broken state I have for very long been in..

Could you just come and hold my hand once?

And disengage me from the mess I look like,

Just hold me close when I am facing a breakdown,

Tell me the calm will follow and the chaos will subside..

Every face I come across on the streets and subways,

Reflects a tale that’s a little real and a bit too raw,

Strangers suddenly appear all too familiar to me,

They can read through the tears my folks never saw..

I come back home to what feels like emptiness,

Customary gestures don’t alleviate my pain,

I try hard, very hard, to get past through the void,

But I fall deeper into the gloomy abyss again..

Tomorrow is a brand new day, a new ray of hope,

Tomorrow the sun might brighten up the skies,

But for now I shall find comfort blacking it all out,

I feel too weak to even quit, slowly I shut my eyes...