I love when it rains... 💧
Sometimes, when it gets a bit too much to handle, even the
skies turn grey. The clouds let out a thunder in unison, releasing the seething
pressure within. What follows is a raging storm that feels like someone was
struggling to deal with a gamut of emotions that turned into an uneasy
sensation in their belly. The wind is brazen, unabashed and raw, much like a
prisoner fighting bondage with all his might. Don't we all wish to be released,
sometime or the other? Released from the clutches of anxiety, helplessness,
fear, expectations and the compulsive need to get it right always? Suddenly,
the clouds let out a groan and the sky lights up for a second. The lightening
is what illuminates the darkness around, even though temporarily. To me, that
is much like a "ray" of hope too. It is almost an assurance that
darkness will eventually fade away. The eerie silence all around makes more
noise than the thunder. Well, isn't it scary when the voices inside your head
become a bit too audible? You realize how cluttered your thoughts are. You
realize the mess you have turned out to be. It is daunting if nothing else. And
for this very reason, I find the storm more comforting than the calm that
interrupts it. It is the storm that helps me shut it all out, at least for a
little while. It is strange how numbness can actually bring you the peace you
have been craving for. It pushes out, all that is pent up inside. And then, it
starts to pour. Tiny drops of water make their way down, leaving everything
moist and glistening. They make the clouds feel lighter. Tears serve a similar
purpose too. When it gets difficult to hold everything in, they trickle down
from the corners of the eyes, onto the face, somewhat washing away the
discomfort, leaving you with glistening cheeks and a lighter heart. Why doesn't
it rain more often? It makes me feel I am not the only one and that it is
absolutely okay to groan, scream or cry when you do not know what else to do.
It helps me embrace my imperfections, pull myself together and remember to trust
the flow. It helps me accept myself for who I am. It makes me feel more alive.
It liberates me in a way that can be felt, but not one that can be described in
words. It brings me closer to my soul that is definitely scarred but hasn't
given up on this world yet.
I love when it rains... 💧
